Last week I wrote about how many of my clients (and friends, and colleagues and I was writing about myself too, in truth) had been experiencing pre-election emotional and relational stress related to the election.
Wednesday, the day after, was for most of my clients here in liberal Northern California, a day of profound shock and grief. I cannot recall any previous election cycle in my 25 years as a therapist here during which my clients have been so emotionally affected by the process and outcome of an election. I am hearing so many stories about physiological reactions like insomnia, crying, nausea, loss of appetite, intrusive repetitive thoughts, anxiety–which seem to me like trauma and grief reactions. Some relationships have suffered when the partners see the election results in very different ways or even voted differently. I’m also hearing a lot of fear about how minorities will fare from many of my clients, who represent many kinds of diversity/otherness in their background, be it race, religion, sexual orientation or immigration status. I’m hearing the same as well as from folks who don’t fit one of these categories but are friends, partners, or just allies. Clearly a change event has just happened that many in the half of the country that did not vote for it are struggling with.
Re-reading the above paragraph, I realize I’m putting it mildly, and I’m imagining anyone reading this knows what I’m talking about and would prefer I not sugar coat it. People are worried about being in physical danger, targets because of their otherness by bigots who feel empowered by the election results. I’m hearing parallels being drawn to the rise of Fascism in Europe in the 1930’s, and some immigrants talk of how this election result reminds them of what happened in their countries transitions to dictatorships that led them to leave. People are talking about future persecution of those on government “enemy” lists, of economic and environmental disaster, of the loss of their children’s futures, of civil war, of the very end of the USA as a democracy, of new wars with other nations, of worsening terrorism, of nuclear war. It’s a pretty grim list.
So what to I say to people as a therapist?
First, know that you are not alone; a lot of folks are feeling similarly. Second, just recognize (for those on the losing side of this election) that this is a very emotional time, that you probably are experiencing grief and maybe even traumatic stress, and this may take some time to process. Just as with the grief at the loss of a loved one, grieving this may be a gradual non-linear process, where anger, denial, sadness, confusion, second guessing and hopelessness may come and go before a state of acceptance and resolve settles in.
Self care is important–taking it easier, getting extra sleep, maintaining good diet–at least not over-indulging in food or substances–that sort of thing is important. As I said last week, avoid frequent checking of media–TV, social media, radio–which can tend to feed the anxiety. I’m not saying be ill-informed, just that there is little to be gained in the way of comforting you that this is not really happening, so instead make lots of room for soothing activities. Keep up with your exercising, especially spend time with family, friends, your loved ones. Turn towards one another; don’t turn ON one another when feeling stressed. Ask for and give hugs. Ask to talk about what’s going on or how you are feeling, or ask for politics free time if you need a break from talking about politics. Realize that all of your fears and worst case scenarios may not happen now or ever (even though we are already hearing of new attacks on minorities).
And then, as you feel more able, getting involved in constructive actions you can do now will be key to not feeling helpless. Wake up in the morning and say “what’s one thing I can do today to make things a little better.” Volunteer, sign a petition, donate money, join a political action organization, get informed not just about what’s happening, but about what you can do. Hope this helps a little.
A quick Google search of this topic and I see Psychology Today has similar advice,
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/urban-survival/201611/5-ways-reduce-post-election-day-anxiety
And–surprise to me–Cosmopolitan has some excellent and even more fleshed out advice:
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/health-fitness/a8264412/post-election-anxiety/