Last weekend I went out on a double date and saw “Loving”  which is a new biography of the aptly named couple, Richard and Mildred Loving. The Lovings were an interracial couple arrested and exiled from Virginia for being married in violation of slavery era anti-miscegenation laws still in place in the 1960’s in the American South. The movie portrays the upheaval suffered by the Lovings, a well attached couple who just wanted to live together in their community with their families and friends. And it shows how they eventually challenged their exile, resulting in the landmark 1967 unanimous Supreme Court decision Loving v. Virginia  that overturned these laws. (Not covered in the movie, but noteworthy, is that this decision decades later influenced the legalization of same-sex marriage.)

The reason I want to bring this movie to your attention, history and current politics aside, however, is the emotional attachment angle. This movie, more than any I’ve seen in a while, shows a well attached couple in action. It plays up what an attuned pair the Lovings were, and how this enabled them to comfort one another and stay unified even when jailed, told to divorce, forced away from the the support of their loved ones and into unfamiliar, bleak circumstances. Instead of separating or being driven into conflict, they noticed eachother’s distress and asked each other “what do you need?” Sometimes they spoke; often the communicated volumes to one another with just their body language.

If you are looking for an example of what loving attention can look like, a hopeful movie about race in challenging times, or just a good date night movie, I highly recommend checking this out. My spouse and I, who are an interracial couple, have long considered the Lovings heroes. In recent years we have been hosting annual Lovings parties to create opportunities to celebrate such couples and families. And we invite anyone who wants to come, as our view is that all couples are “mixed” because everyone comes from a unique family culture. This June will mark the 50th anniversary of the Loving Vs. The State of Virginia decision. Maybe you’ll consider hosting or joining a Loving Party where you live too?  There is actually an organization devoted to organizing such parties here and you can see a trailer for the movie here.

Warmly, Adam