Resources
Below are some helpful resources.
Conversation starters for couples talking about their relationship:
Gottman Card Decks: available free as a mobile phone app from the Apple and Android stores. These are 12 sets of 52 questions and ideas (originally these were sold as packs of playing cards) to aid with your communication in general; four sets address sexuality in particular. click here
Sexuality Conversation Starters: 125 questions from sex therapy guru Ester Perel to prompt honest couples conversations about sexuality. click here
Websites Regarding Emotionally Focused Therapy:
The International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy: Basic information on EFT, EFT therapist training requirements, EFT research, and a searchable international registry of EFT trained therapists, and a list of Hold Me Tight Couples Workshops. http://www.iceeft.com
The Northern California Community for Emotionally Focused Therapy (NCCEFT): Here you can find information on EFT, and Bay Area EFT therapists and trainings:
The New Mexico Emotionally Focused Therapy Community: Here you can find information on our small and growing New Mexican EFT community events and therapists
Sue’s Blog: Website for Dr. Sue Johnson, Founder/Matriarch of Emotionally Focused Therapy. A good place to get a sense of what she and her approach are about as well as her latest thinking and research and products. Includes link to her current online Hold Me Tight Workshop, which during the Covid-19 pandemic she’s been offering at half-price. https://drsuejohnson.com/blog/
The San Francisco Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy. I work with many psychotherapists and their partners and am often asked how to get training in being an Emotionally Focused Therapist. An excellent training resource in the Bay Area is here: http://www.sfceft.com. I’ve also found workshops provided in San Francisco by TriAlliant EFT http://trieft.org out of San Diego to be excellent.
Shaping Love: A seminal study: Sue Johnson’s blog post centered around the latest research to be published on EFT: Changes in Relationship-Specific Attachment in EFT – Oddly, the link to this article became broken and, when I searched on it, it is now found on the excellent singer/song-writer/actress Alanis Morissette’s website, who is apparently a fan of Sue’s too! http://drsuhttps://www.researchgate.net/publication/283326400_Changes_in_Relationship-Specific_Attachment_in_Emotionally_Focused_Couple_Therapy
Huston Community for Emotionally Focused Therapy: a site out of Texas which has a good bibliography of books and articles on EFT. http://www.eftzone.org/publications
He Said She Said: Deborah Tannen on YouTube talking about differences in communication styles (Update: sorry, this link no longer works, but Dr. Tannen’s book by the same title is still an excellent read about gender differences in communication styles. I think it’s a better version of Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus.
Sex Therapy Resources/Online Sex Therapy Programs
Female sexuality: OMGYes.com: https://www.omgyes.com/en/
This site takes sex education regarding female sexuality to the next level, starting from a large study interviewing women, this site incorporates virtual reality with many ideas about being pleasured, either by oneself or by a partner. Really one of the most innovative updates to sex education I’ve seen in years. Highly recommended. (Full disclosure: I contacted the site developer, requested and was given a free subscription to review this site, but no obligation to post about or recommend it.)
Male Sexuality: Between Us Clinic: https://www.betweenusclinic.com
Online structured courses for the most common male sexual function issues, PE (Premature Ejaculation) and ED (Erectile dysfunction). The courses are based in the evidence based best practices for treating each issue it addresses. In communications with the developers, I understand they are also working on a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Program to address low sexual desire in men, and perhaps eventually inhibited orgasm as well. This site is another example of innovators using the present technology to deliver science-based proven techniques for addressing common issues. Highly recommended. (Full disclosure: I was paid to review this site with no obligation to post about or recommend it).
Senior Sexuality: Pretty good article on senior sexuality at Caring.com (although it emphasizes intercourse over other forms of sexuality and is oriented to caregivers at retirement homes) but the basic information is relevant to anyone over 50, so well worth the quick read: https://www.caring.com/resources/stds-sexual-health-in-retirement-homes/